性冷感：
我们两公婆在一个水床上做爱。她那一侧结了冰。（My wife and I made love on a water bed. Her side froze.）
那一次我高潮来的时候叫得太大声，差点把老婆给吵醒了。（The other day I had such a loud orgasm I almost woke my wife.）
你怎么看出一位结了婚五年的女人有性高潮？她说，“妈，我得挂电话了！”(How can you tell when a woman who’s been married five years has an orgasm?”
She says, “Mom, I have to hang up now.” （
在阿拉斯加，他们刚以我老婆的名字命名一块大冰川。
In Alaska they just named a glacier after my wife.
一夜情：
英国影星Dudley Moore说，我一直在寻找有意义的一夜情。"I am always looking for meaningful one night stands."
婚前性行为：
现在性开放太过分了。唯一能够避免上床的办法就是结婚。（There’s a lot of permissiveness nowadays. The only way to avoid sex is to get married.）（怪不得现在有“无性婚姻”之说）
“举行婚礼前就发生关系算不算不道德？”
“只要你别挡住教堂的通道就行。”
（Is it a sin to have sex before the wedding?”
“only if you block the aisle of the church.”) （这位神父也够开放的。）
