Marketing(you are a junior stuff): Please gather marketing event requirements for this quarter. I need the full details by next Monday. I can't emphasis more on the rules of using our logo and marketing collaterals. No, you can't alter it no matter what....it is decided by the corporate.
Marketing(you asenior stuff): I need to secure funding ahead of other geos. Please have our geo requests on my table by the end of the day. Oh BTW, the COO needs to meet the mayor of city and the CEO of China Telecom. No, I donot know the intended dates yet. Please start working on it. Oh another thing, I am attending long term product planning session in the states next month. Let us find time to formulate a strategy this week. I will be meeting our COO in the states so I need something impressive.
During monthly reivew
Direct Sales: 争取时间过半任务过半。多的我就不说了。单子的cutoff date 是XX月XX号。大家要记住这个日子。到时不要跟我说单子下不了。BTW, 下个月开始公司开始travel control. 要出差的提前一天告诉我来approve。你怎么这么笨,跟客户吃饭实在不行让当地经销商想办法。还要我教你啊。靠。你们他妈的注意报销不要违规啊。
Marketing(junior staff): You have a great marketing plan...execute it flawlessly. Here are the fundings. Oh, BTW, I need to meet the marketing agency. I have issues with the retainer contract.
Marketing(senior staff): I came back from the headquarter face to face meeting. Here is the strategy download. We will end of life of product A, B, C and shift to D, E, F. It is strictly confidential. Our customers should not know this before we make announcement. I need this team to work on pricing, sales contract, new collateral, media coverage, sales training, the whole nine yards, I need it by the end of the month. Oh BTW, in pursuit of our new product strategy, we will start to re-org and re-align our teams. It is WIP in the US now.
During quarterly review
Direct sales: 这个季度10%的兄弟超额完成任务。10%没有完成任务。总体而言我们销售增长了15%。谢谢各位。晚上我请客。大家都来。男同事跟家里请好假。女同事9点以后就可以走了。不过9点后我才会谈新的account plan. 你们看着办啊。。。呵呵,开玩笑,下周我们才调整account coverage.
Marketing(junior staff): We have had a wonderful quarter....here is your achievement award($100 voucher). Oh, BTW, here is the new agency we will use starting next quarter. Here is the contact info. Why did we change agency? Well, it is complicated. Anyhow, it is done. Go work with them. Here is the funding left for this quarter. Do not waste it. I need you to come up with a program with the new agency before deadline.
Marketing(Senior staff): We have done thorough analysis and planning of our geo NPI(new product introduction). Unfortunately these are the areas that we need to amend per HQ feedback. See, we need to work with sales closer to make our strategy more convincing. BTW, here is the plan to merge and downsize our headcounts. Why? Have you listened to CEO's webcast last week? why does this surprise you?
At company fiscal year end
你的老板:Sales Director, head of direct sales: 又买了两处房子。公司付钱到夏威夷度假一周。第二年销售任务涨了20%。他打算招更多sales,并开展in house telesales 业务。
你的老板:Sales Director, head of channel sales: 买了4处房和奔驰S600。带着华南华东的总代投奔了竞争对手。你的同事老刘则背黑锅。被公司开了。