我在MSN上跟她简单说了句“等你到境外,可以接触到更多更全面的资料和信息,过几年会有新的想法“。然后给她写了封英文短信,用语比较正式,说了三点:用军队镇压平民造成大规模伤亡是非人道的;悼念死者是对生命的尊重;关于民主化、稳定和威权政治,请她有时间了解一点东欧、拉美和东亚的历史事实,be less assertive。这几天两人都很忙,她也不愿谈这个话题,我也不愿谈。但明显感觉得到,她对我很严肃地用书面跟她谈这件事情是不满的。
我为什么要请教前辈们:
I was astonished at her decisive tone and firm judgment. I think the obsession in me aroused neither about politics nor about history in this case. I would consider it an issue of respect for life, of benevolence as human nature, and of open-mindedness. Either lack of respect and benevolence for life, or lack of open-mindedness over humanity issue should be a serious concern for me.I may not trust her as the wife and mother of the children in the future, if I unfortunately have to concluded in that way.
我的想法:
自己保持冷静。温和地、但是坚定地告诉她,政治判断是第二位的,希望她首先从人道和人性出发考虑问题。可以间接地、也可以直接地跟她说明我的感受和看法。如果她一直非常坚持她的看法,我可能会觉得她有些冷漠和无知,在考虑两个人将来的时候,price it in。
我们两人的关系第一次经历这样的“shock"(可能她不觉得这是issue)。我觉得人性很复杂,也不容易把握。总之深沉厚重为上,聪敏尖锐为下。