Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door
Picture this, we were both butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor
捉奸不一定在床。自己和邻家出墙红杏在洗手间地板上肉搏被抓个正着，还敢抵赖你没有？
How could I forget that I had
Given her an extra key
All this time she was standing there
She never took her eyes off me
男女私情总是千虑必有一失，可自家房门钥匙给过谁都忘了，就活该被逮个现行！
But she caught me on the counter (It wasn't me)
Saw me bangin' on the sofa (It wasn't me)
I even had her in the shower (It wasn't me)
She even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)
厨房案台上，沙发上，淋浴间里，随处翻云覆雨到了入港处，被偷窥偷拍都不知道。铁证如山还矢口否认说你没有？
She saw the marks on my shoulder (It wasn't me)
Heard the words that I told her (It wasn't me)
Heard the scream geting louder (It wasn't me)
She stayed until it was over
脖子上的吻痕，卿卿我我的絮絮情话，颠鸾倒凤的叫床声，……被人家从头到尾耳闻目睹，你还好意思说你没有？
（这是Shaggy一首老歌《It wasn’t Me》里面颇为露骨的歌词，描述一个被老婆捉奸的偷情汉子百般抵赖的泼皮嘴脸。Shaggy那口独特的牙买加口音来诠释这种无赖歌曲，尤其传神！
偷情的一大特点就是迫不及待，随时随地都可以肉帛相见：洗手间，厨房案台，沙发，汽车后座，甚至办公室门后。这种饥不择食的选址方法其实很误导。听起来颇为浪漫，实际操作未必奏效。厨房案台上的油盐酱醋瓶瓶罐罐刀叉碗碟一大堆，容易造成不必要的伤害。洗手间地面洗发水沐浴露的残余加上水渍又滑又凉，一不小心摔断骨盆。汽车后座空间窄小，难以伸缩自如，再加上轮胎弹力造成“车震”景观，安全系数太低。其实，做爱的最佳首选地点还是经典的大床！
所以，别信那些所谓最佳做爱地点的鬼话！
还有，想和邻家那娘们儿偷情，千万记得先把门锁换掉！）
